Saturday, September 18, 2010

Doing Some Stretching

I figured yesterday would be a complete disaster. It was full of sweet temptations and big plates of restaurant food, but I don't think it turned out to be such a complete disaster.

I gave in and ate 2 halves of donuts. (1/2 from one, and 1/2 from another). At Red Lobster I ate 2 biscuits, a salad with Blue Cheese on the side, Grilled chicken breast and shrimp, and a baked potato with butter and sour cream on the side. Then, the waitress brought my coworker a piece of cheesecake smothered in strawberries for her birthday dessert. Oh crap! We all shared the cheesecake and then later at the office we cut the cake that my mom and I got her in the morning. I felt so full of sugar and junk and it was a nasty feeling.

I also had a few spoonfuls of candy corn before I went home.

For dinner, we went to Los Toltecos and I got the Fajitas Texanas. It comes with shrimp, chicken, and beef, and is served with refried beans, rice, cheese, lettuce, guacamole, and sour cream and of course the corn tortillas. It was really good, but I know it was secretly realllly bad.

After dinner I felt as if my stomach was trying to stretch itself. It was just extremely full. Not good at all.

I was too tired to attempt any exercise last night.

Luckily, the scale had not budged in either direction this morning. I don't think I will be that lucky any other time.

I just finished eating 1 donut for my breakfast. I didnt' eat it all though. I ate the chocolate on top and the cream inside, and got rid of most of the actual "donut" part of it.

The rest of today I need to channel my inner skinny. Hmmm...

Friday, September 17, 2010

Long Story Short

Afternoon snack yesterday was 1/2 snickers bar. Dinner was Popeyes (I know, I know). I didn't walk.

Morning weight: 249.4 lbs.

Breakfast was whole wheat bagel with chive cream cheese.

I'm anticipating to eat a bit unhealthy today, as it's a coworker's birthday and we have cake, donuts, and are planning to go to Red Lobster for lunch.

Have mercy on me!!!

I will keep it updated when I can!

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Not exactly as I planned..

I told you guys that I my lunch all prepared and chilling in the fridge.. and then what happens? Well, my mom doesn't want to eat in today. We planned on going to McDonald's first, but then I reminded her we still have a bunch of Quizno's coupons.

I had Quizno's yesterday and it was great. I got the same thing: a Baja Chicken sub. They say it's less than 500 calories for the small sub, but I got a regular. I'm guessing that was between 700-800 calories and I had a bag of doritos for like 300-ish calories. So, about 1000 or so calories for lunch.

I'm not upset though. I don't think that was a huge sin or anything, just not the wisest. I have my original lunch for either 1. tonight's dinner or 2. tomorrow's lunch. I think I'd prefer to eat it for tonight, but I'm making no promises though.

For a snack this afternoon I will either eat a yogurt or some other small thing. I don't want to eat a variety of snacks because that sends my brain the wrong message.

I'm still having a positive outlook for today. :)

Morning Snack

I waited until about 10:20 am to eat my morning snack. I ate the Oreo Thin Crisps like I said I would and I'm drinking water too. I don't feel hungry now. I'm actually feeling a positive vibe for today.

A New Start

Ok.. I weighed in like I said this morning. It said 250.6 lbs. I have gained back a few pounds obviously, but it doesn't matter. This is my new starting weight so let's let bygones be bygones.

For my lovely breakfast I ate 1 Kashi fruit bar. It's basically like a Nutrigrain Bar. It was 110 calories and 3 grams of fiber. I drank a little bit of water with it, instead of milk.

I have my lunch here in the fridge at work. I also have a little 100-calorie package of Oreo Crisps or something like that.

I'm feeling more encouraged after reading Heather's blog. I realize that it's not just me that is going through this. Everyone must have these kinds of days or weeks where they feel this sort of funk going on. I think I'm ready to get out of the funk now though. It sure helps when you have people like Heather who are here to encourage and make you want to keep chuggin along on this journey. Thank you, Heather. You are so wondeful!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Late Night Ramblings

I'm sitting here, 11:30 at night, snacking on grapes. I'm wondering.. how did I get to this point? I look back at the start of this lifestyle change, and I think about how motivated and inspired I was. It was so much fun: losing weight, exercising, encouraging others...and now.. what happened? What's different about my thought processes? It's like I'm on the verge of failure. I don't want to be.. but it seems the boost of energy that I had for a short while is starting to fade away. Where can I get it again? Is the energy inside of me, just waiting to be released? Well, I'm not sure. I want to get back where I started off. I need to find the energy again. I'm sick of giving up and giving into temptation. It makes me feel so sick to think about all the progress I've made since the beginning of August. I can't give up. I lost like 14-ish pounds in that short bit of time. It would be stupid for me to give up and let urges and cravings and stress get in my way and gain back what I've lost. I don't want that to stop me. It's not worth it to give up, right? I mean, cravings are just cravings.. they go away eventually.. so why can't I seem to grasp that now? It seems more difficult than it was at first. Eating out of boredom is not acceptable. It doesn't do me any good. Eating a healthy dinner and then Taco Bell 2 hours later is just gross. How do I expect to live a long healthy life, and not get diabetes, if I continue such horrible eating habits? I need a reality check y'all. I'm doing bad. I need a fresh start, a breath of fresh air, a clean slate. I know I'm willing. This is what this blog is about. It's about my weight loss journey; the ups and downs, and turnarounds. I've just got to start all over. That's what I'm going to do. Tomorrow morning I'm going to weigh in my new starting weight. I'm going to eat either a bowl of cereal or a cereal bar. I'm going to eat a morning snack and blog and tell you all what it is and my lunch (which I've already made!) will be rice, chorizo with scrambled eggs, a little mozzarella cheese, some black beans, and a few tortillas. I should probably take a walk as well. I mean, afterall, we have some nice weather out there. It is the perfect time to do some walking. I got no excuse. I want to be healthy, happy, thin, athletic, and oh-so many other things in my life. I'm 20 years old. I'm still young, but time is flying by now. I want to enjoy my youth and be happy. I don't want to suffer anymore because of my weight. I have just got to get back to the way I was a month ago.

Well, that's a random rambling..but quite motivating to myself...I guess that energy is inside of me afterall :)

Let's just see if I follow through with all of this tomorrow..

I did a bad, bad thing

Feeling Guilty???

So I had my turkey sandwich yesterday for lunch with a 99 cent bag of Doritos and a diet coke. Then I snacked on and off through out the afternoon, like on a few chips, a few crackers, some peanut butter, a peach, etc.

I made some chicken with corn, black beans, and tomatoes then some shrimp, guacamole, and leftover rice for dinner. Now, that tasted pretty good. And, it wasn't really unhealthy.

Well, after dinner is when it got a little hairy.

Fredy came to pick me up because I wanted to go to a Latino grocery store and do a little browsing, and I wanted him to be my Latino support. So we went to El Eden and I bought some Spicy Mexican Chorizo that I am going to make with scrambled eggs, but that's beside the point. After that we went to Bestway to compare prices and products, and after that....Taco Bell. That was a killer. I had $6 and I planned on getting something small because Fredy didn't want to eat alone.. But... instead I ended up getting the T6, which is 2 chicken chalupas with sourcream and everything, plus a beef taco.. I felt so gross sitting in there at like 9:30 at night stuffing my face with a whole other meal, after I had just eaten a pretty good meal only 2 hours earlier. Ugh! I'm crazy!

Feeling guilty, Fredy and I did a little walking around my neighborhood, maybe like a little more than a mile. Still, I didn't feel good at all after that.

No weigh-in this morning.

Had fruit loops for breakfast. I'll try to be smarter today. : /

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Tuesday Morning

It's Tuesday morning.. the weekend wasn't great as far as my eats were concerned. Fortunately, I'm around the same range of weight still. 248.6 for now. I want to just kill that number and get down to 240 and not have to see this 248 again.. But I'm working on it.

I'm currently eating a blueberry muffin from Panera, which is just fabolous. I plan on eating a turkey sandwich for lunch, and not sure about snack yet.

Yesterday, I had planned on eating that turkey sandwich for lunch, but instead I ended up eating Panera. I doubt that will happen today because I have no $$.

I haven't forgotten about my burrito bowl. I was just really tired last night, because I walked about 3 miles, then drank a smoothie, got a shower, and hit the sack... plus I had no chicken. I have the picture of Saturday burrito bowl.. I've just been lazy and not put it up here. Eventually, I will.