Feeling like a failure and SICK of eating out!

These past few weeks have been the pits for me as far as eating is concerned. I don't know what my issue has been but I just feel like I want to eat all the time and all the bad foods. At work for 2 weeks in a row I didn't bring my lunch. You know what that means. I was going out everyday getting the nastiest, greasiest foods, and wasting my money at the same time. At home was no better. We have been eating out way too much. I'm just sick and tired of this. I feel so disgusted with myself and with my body. I let my progress just go down the drain. I might not have gained all the weight back. But, I'm up to 254. That's bad enough isn't it?

I just want to stop eating out and eat some healthy foods.. heck, even if I eat a can of Spaghetti and Meatballs (which I just ate) that's better than going to McDonald's or Taco Bell for lunch. At least it's under 500 calories for goodness sake.

I feel so unhealthy and fat. It's not a fun feeling at all. It's actually very depressing.

Today I have made a step in the right direction with eating my canned lunch.

I'm trying to improve. I want to just relax about what I eat, but just watch what I am eating and how much. I also need to start eating more fruit daily. I feel deprived of all things healthy and it's time to change this horrible behavior.

Going Crazy

I've really been baddddd this past week. I have not done anything as planned.

Today, however, I ate some mini muffins for 2 points. So I have got 28 points left. I would like to eat light today.

Last night, Alisha and I were talking about eating meat. She said she might eat it once a month... I'm thinking, maybe I should try to cut back on my meat intake as well. Afterall, meat IS heavy. Maybe I could try to fill up on more greens.. you know.. lettuce greens?

I don't think I can cut meat out completely, but maybe to start I could eat one meal with meat a day. Then maybe after that every other day. Then maybe once a week. I don't think once a month will work for me. But I'm going to start out small. Today I'm going to try to eat meat at only one meal and not at 2.

I love love love love Chipotle!

It's one of the greatest places to go. They have fresh delicious ingredients, although some not so healthy. But I don't care. You can't stop loving a place just because it's ingredients are a little on the heavier side. I ordered a  chicken burrito with rice, black beans, tomatoes, sour cream, cheese, lettuce, and guacamole, which was probably like 14 points. That's ok with me though. It's totally worth it! I still have half of it leftover for a little later. I couldn't be more satisfied right now!

Points Balance = 12 points

Ughhhhhh

Hey! It's been a long time. I'm sorry but Charlie was really sick and had to go to the ER and I didn't work for two days. Things were crazy. Food was a little crazy too. I've come to the conclusion that I don't have enough time and all do take a picture of every thing I eat, so if I eat something interesting I will post it. Otherwise, you'll just have to take my word for it.

This morning I ate a package of little bites muffins for 2 points and a glass of milk for 2 points.

Total Breakfast Points = 4 points
Points Balance = 26 points

Sticking with it

So.. I haven't drank a diet soda or had aspartame since Saturday, September 25! It's almost been 3 weeks. I'm not missing it, either. I think water and tea and an occasional juice or milk are treating me just fine. I'm happy with the choice I've made!

Breakfast

Breakfast this morning is:

• Wheaties Protein Bar- 4 points
• V8 Splash- 2 points

Total Breakfast Points = 6 points
Points Balance = 24 points

Today

I've eaten a banana and some apple juice for breakfast, and I'm about to eat an apple. Haven't taken pics right now. Kinda busy.

• Banana - 2 points
• Apple Juice - 1 point
• Apple - 1 point

Total Breakfast Points = 4 points
Points Balance = 26 points

Heavenly Hummus

Lunch was as follows:

• Egg salad sandwich - 5 points
• Pine Nut Hummus - 4 points
• Pita Chips - 4 points

Total Lunch Points = 13 points
Total Daily Points = 16 points
Points Balance = 14 points

That hummus was so delicious.. and it's quite addicting. I really need to watch myself with that.

Juicy Snack

I'm eating an apple for 1 point right now for my morning snack. It's not bitter or tart, but has a subtle sweet taste. Yumm..

Points Balance = 27 points

Rainy Monday morning

I figured I wouldn't get up this morning to do exercise.. I was tired and it was rainy and blah blah blah. I was just lazy. I don't know if my morning plan for exercise will work out, ever, because I'm not so much a morning person. I plan to keep my evening exercise plan but just increase the times.

For my breakfast I had a chewy bar for 2 points.

Points Balance = 28 points

Sunday, horrible Sunday

Sunday ended up being kind of a mess. It started with that pancake and went down hill from there. I had a tall Vanilla bean frap from starbucks for about 5 points. Then.. we went to King's Buffet and I went crazy. I lost track of my points there.

Then, I went to Chili's with my parents and Charlie. I didn't order anything but I was eating chips with salsa and queso dip and cheese fries, as well as part of Charlie's quesadilla. What a bust!

Breakfast and the unexpected weigh-in

Breakfast this morning was a chocolate-chip pancake made by me and a about 2 cups of fat-free milk. But even before that I weighed myself. To my surprise the scale said 248.6 lbs! Wow! It's not down a whole lot but it is better than it has been!

Anyways:

Total Breakfast Points = 7 points
Points Balance = 23 points

Saturday afternoon and beyond

After those quesadillas at 10:30ish in the morning, I didn't eat anything else until like 5:30 pm. It consisted of a piece of flank steak, cuajada cheese, 3 beans and cheese pupusas, repollo, and salsa.That was quite a bit of food, but I did share with Charlie. That was about 10 points maybe at the most.

Then 10:00 pm rolls around and I'm feeling hungry again.. So, stupid me decides to go to Wendys and get the baconnator and fries and sprite. Ughh!!! That was probably like 12-13 points!! I felt sick after eating that. A small hamburger minus the fries would have sufficed but I don't know what happens to me.

So I went over by 3 points for the day.

Point Balance = -3 points!!!

Eating Early

I was feeling hungry so I ate my lunch early: Friday's Chicken Quesadillas

• 2 Quesadillas - 6 points

Total Lunch Points = 6 points
Total Daily Points = 10 points
Points Balance = 20 points

My Exercise Problem

I don't know why I can start off doing intense exercise for awhile, and then I just give up. I don't understand myself. I KNOW that exercise is very important, and it will definitely help me lose weight faster. But, I don't know. I guess I'm crazy or something, because I'm always feeling lazy about it now. Remember when I talked about those rewards for my different weight loss goals? Yeah, well I haven't hit any goals because I am not doing an adequate amount of exercise. Duh! So, I was reading a couple of blogs and articles on the internet about rewarding yourself for doing exercise. I think this is what I need to start doing in order for me to drop some numbers, because I've been hovering around the same weight now for more than a few weeks. I lost that initial 10-11 lbs and the scale doesn't seem to budge now. It's because of that.. the lack of exercise.

In order for me to drop pounds, I have to do exercise. In order for me to exercise, I need to set exercise goals, and have a set SCHEDULE. If I have an exercise schedule, it will be easier for me to stick with it.

I'm going to be starting school the week of the 11th and I go Wednesdays and Thursdays, so exercise then is probably NOT going to happen. Every other day, however, I should be able to get some kind of exercise im. It will most likely be the treadmill!

This is a rough draft just straight out of my brain right now:

Monday, Tuesday, Friday-

• 30 minutes treadmill 6:15 am (I have to start geting up early. I just have to!)
• 15 minutes treadmill 6:15 pm (this time is subject to change.. It will be either when I'm cooking dinner or as soon as I get home or something.. I will figure it out)
• 15 minutes treadmill 8:30 pm (this will be after dinner)

Like I said, this is just a rough draft. The # of minutes might vary in the morning, if I, for some reason don't get up on time.. or maybe in the evening I feel like doing more.

Also, I would like to start up again with my lunchtime walks of 1 mile. That will help me as well.

Ok, so if I complete 3 days a week of intense 1-hour total workouts I will reward myself. It has to be something small.. like a new shirt. Nothing exepensive, but something cute, affordable, and motivating. Clothes motivate me, especially if they are smaller and I can wear them. :o)

So how's that? This coming week I will plan to start. And, I'm going to keep an exericse log and fill it in. I have done that before and it didn't work but this time I will make it work.

Come Monday morning, I will be up between 6:15-6:30 am and I will get on that treadmill and do exercise!

I'm all set. But you know what this means, right? I'm going to have to go to bed earlier now.. :( 

Pumped Up Breakfast

This morning I went to 7-Eleven on my way to work and got a Wheaties Protein Bar, peanut butter flavored. yumm...

• Wheaties Protein Bar - 4 points

Total Breakfast Points = 4 points
Points Balance = 26 points

Last Night

This is what I ate last night:

• Banana (for a snack) - 2 points
• Chicken Macaroni- 9 points
• 1/2 cup icecream - 2 points
• Fruit Smoothie - 4 points

Total Daily Points = 31 points
Balance = -1 point

Yikes! I didn't even do exercise. That is something that I need to get back into because that is a key element of weight loss, and that is my weakest point is doing exercise and keeping up with it.

Anyways..

I must say this tasted pretty good

I don't even know why I ate that icecream. I wasn't hungry after my dinner.

I used an apple, a banana, an orange, strawberries, fruit cup, and apple juice. I split it with James

Panera is starting to become a ritual

Lunch was Panera.. again. So yummy!

Here it goes:

• Frontega Chicken Panini- 4 points
• Fuji Apple Chicken Salad- 3 points
• French Baguette- 2 points
• Sweet Tea- 2 points

Total Lunch Points = 11 points
Total Daily Points = 14 points
Points Balance = 16 points

And the pics..

Breakfast

Breakfast this morning was as follows:

• Streusel Coffee Cake - 2 points
• 1/2 banana- 1 point

Total Breakfast Points = 3 points
Points Balance = 27 points

Dinnertime

Tonight's dinner was a little akward: Chicken soup, rice, avocado, and a slice of pizza.. yeah.. like I said..

• Chicken Soup- 3 points
• Rice- 3 points
• Avocado- 2 points
• Cheese Pizza- 5 points

Total Dinner Points- 13 points
Total Daily Points- 29 points
Point Balance- 1 point

Here are the dinner pics:

I didn't end up eating all of this rice.

This hunger be drivin me crazy

I couldn't control it. I was so hungry. I opened a can of tuna fish and made myself a tuna sandwich.

• 1/2 can of tuna- 1 point
• 1 teaspoon mayo- 1 point
• 2 slices bread- 2 points

Total snack points = 5 points
Total daily points = 16 points
Point Balance = 14 points

I was so hungry I took a bite of the sandwich before I took the photo.

Lunch Breakdown

For lunch I had Panera.

• Frontega Chicken Panini- 4 points
• Broccoli Cheddar Soup- 3 points
• French Baguette- 2 points
• Sweet Tea- 1 point

Total lunch points = 10 points
Total daily points = 11 points
Point Balance= 19 points


Here are the pictures of my lunch:

Breakfast on a fresh start

Ok so this morning I'm eating a Activia Light Peach Yogurt for breakfast. It's 1 point.

I also decided that I should start taking a picture of everything I eat so I can be even more accountable. So, here's the pic:

That's what it's all about

Something that I realized tonight.. Changing your diet, changing your lifestyle is all about trial and error. There is no "fool proof" way in succeeding at weight loss. You just have to experiment and find out what works for you.. and maybe something that worked for you before won't work for you a few years later. I'll admit, I have attempted so many methods to lose weight, and these things might have worked for me, if I had followed through completely.

This time I'm going to try something different. I'm going to try and follow something similar to Weight Watchers. I'm not going to be exact with my calories, but instead I'm going to turn my calories into points, except I'm going to make my points simpler. So, if I eat something of 100 calories, that's 1 point. Now, if the calories are on the 50 mark or over, like 155 or 678, I will round up to the next hundred. So, 2 points or 7 points.

I'm going to play around with 30  daily points for right now. This number might have to change, but we will see how it works out for now.

Also, for every 100 calories I burn, I will get back 1 point.

I think this will be a little simpler this way, to not have to count the exact calories, but to kind of estimate.

I still want to keep certain meals in certain ranges. Like for breakfast I'll say no more than 4 points. Lunch, no more than 9 points, and dinner no more than 10 points. I'm thinking that for my two snacks no more than 2 points each. Then I will have 3 points to do what I want to with. Again, this might change. This is a trial and error thing, remember. I have to remember that too, because I easily get discouraged.

Another thing I want to do is to try to eat lots of fruit for my snacks. Also, vegetables will be zero points (besides potatoes and corn).

I gotta get back to doing my smoothies again. I think those helped me a lot.

Well, I plan on starting off on this new plan in the morning. Wish me luck and dreams of exercise!

Good night!

American Cafe

Oddly enough, I can't find a nutritional menu for the American Cafe, which is where we went to lunch today. I got the Monterrey Chicken Salad, which has mostly greens, a few bits of bacon, grilled cajun chicken, 2 egg halves, and some cheese. I got Honey Mustard on the side. I also ordered a bowl of Cheddar Baked Potato soup, which had bacon, cheese, and chives. Plus, I ate some bread with Garlic-Herbed butter. Somebody shoot me, please! I feel so full and sickly right now. It's not even funny. I'm sure that I ate the rest of my calories for the day.

Tonight, I'm going to plan on doing like 5 miles on the treadmill. No joke.

Words of Wisdom

This is my mom, Wanda.

Here we go again!

I did like 3-4 miles last night (1 on treadmill, the rest outdoors). I ate that lean cuisine, and then 30 minutes later I wound up eating 2 bacon and egg sandwiches.. No comment..

This morning I started off with a chewy bar (150 calories) and a cup of fat-free milk (90 calories). After that is when it got a little sticky..

We went to McDonald's and I got a sausage, egg, and cheese biscuit and a hashbrown.(that's like 550 + 150). Yikes!!!

So I've eaten like 940 calories of my daily expenditure.

Whoa..

Ok, I'm planning on salad for lunch.

Fabulous!

I changed the blog design again, this time more dramatically. Hey, I gotta keep it interesting!! Hope ya like it!

Over Indulgence

Just finished lunch at the Olive Garden. I tried the new Lasagna Rollato al Forno, which is basically just 2 Lasagna noodles filled with 5 different cheeses and rolled up, covered in a cheesy marinara sauce. I ate half of the 840 calorie dish (making it 420 calories). I also had a lot of salad (probably like 700 calories!) and 2 breadsticks (300 calories). So basically I ate more calories from that salad than from my actual entree. Yuck! How unfair is that? Too bad I didn't check the salad calories before I went.

So now I have half of my entree leftover and some breadsticks PLUS a piece of Pumpkin Cheesecake that I will split with my mom. I'm feeling sorta gross right now.

Withdrawal

I think I was experiencing caffeine withdrawal yesterday. I didn't drink tea or anything. My head was hurting and I was feeling so hungry... and so when I got home I ate some potato salad for a snack.

For dinner I had a plate of spaghetti, some spaghetti squash, 3 pieces of garlic bread, and to top it all off, I had a hunk of icecream cake for dessert.

I stop and think after I've eaten, and I'm like, "What have I done?" That always happens to me. I do ok-ish during the day and in the evening is when I seem to lose control. What can I do about that? It's like I try to be strong and have willpower, but I always lose.. I need help!

After dinner, I did 30 minutes on the treadmill, doing 1.34 miles. I didn't think that was satisfactory, but I felt lazy, and so I stopped there.

The scale said 250.2 lbs this morning. It's not really budging too much, and I guess that's a good thing since I've been pretty bad lately.

I drank a fruit smoothie for breakfast that consisted of strawberries, an orange, and a fruit cup with peaches and pears, and then some apple juice and ice.

Today, mom and I are planning to go to Olive Garden for lunch. I'm hoping that I can control myself this evening and eat a Lean Cuisine instead of a big meal.

Where did they go?

The Doritos are gone. A slice of peach pie is also gone.

I'm guessing that the pie was about 200 calories (it was a small slice).

Running Total: 1450 calories
Allowed: 2200 calories
Balance: 750 calories

Dang! Where did my calories go? OMG! It happened so fast I can't even believe it..

Well, I better do some vigorous exercise tonight.

I told you the balance would go down pretty fast

This is what I did. I went to 7-Eleven and got two Buffalo Chicken Taquitos and a bag of Doritos. The taquitos are 180 calories each, so 360 for two. The doritos are 310. I know, I know these aren't healthy choices. But they fit in my calorie range and I was hungry so tough cookies, ok?

I haven't eaten the doritos, yet.

What I also did was the 1-mile walk with Leslie Sansone. According to the ProHealth Calorie Burner, I burned about 119 calories. I don't know how true that is, but it makes me feel a little better.

Running Lunch total: 520 calories

Balance: 1260 calories!

It's Not Even Noon Yet

I had a snack of Keebler Crackers for 190 calories. I used up 40 calories of those leftover 60 calories, leaving me 20 still.

My actual shrimp salad

I just finished eating my lunch. I had a shrimp and blue cheese salad with vinaigrette. The greens were about 25 calories, the blue cheese about 50, the shrimp about 50, and the vinaigrette 25. That puts me at 150 calories total for my lunch.

Let's break down the day so far:

Breakfast- 240 calories
Snack- 190 calories
Lunch- 150 calories

Total= 580 calories so far
Balance= 1620 calories

And guess what??

I'm still hungry.. So that balance will be getting smaller very soon.

Fitness Frenzie

I was reading Mary's blog: A Merry Life. I just discovered her blog today after seeing that she commented on my post. I'm happy that I found this and I was going through some of the different posts and I found her 10 Ways to Motivate Yourself to Exercise. I love her motivation. I related to one of her motivations especially. When she says how you will feel after exercise is a reason to do it. I never thought about it like that, but it's true. When you get done doing exercise you feel awesome. You feel like you've accomplished something and that's what makes you want to keep doing it over and over.

I started thinking about Legally Blonde, when Elle was in court and talking about people that exercise have more endorphins released, making them happier, therefore they weren't murderers. Well anyways, that's how I aspire to be. I want to be fit and in shape and a happy person (not that I'm not happy now, but I want to be very happy and energized more than I am). I want to be one of those people that has to exercise and that's always on the move. I want to be somebody who doesn't think about food constantly, but thinks about what kind of exercise routine they will do next. I want to be a fitness junkie and drinking those power drinks and go running in the rain and being able to say "I just finished a 5k". That's who I want to be. Is that so hard to ask?

Sweeeet Tea

I don't want to go into much details of this weekend. I didn't behave too well with my food choices.

However, I didn't drink any diet drinks. On Saturday, at Red Lobster, I ordered unsweetened tea and added sugar. That's when I learned that I should just order sweet tea, since sugar wont' dissolve in the cold tea. So, yesterday at On The Border, I ordered the sweet tea. It didn't taste too sweet, but it tasted nice. This is going to be my new drink of choice. Well, that and water.

I got good feedback on my decision to give up diet soda. That in itself is a lifestyle change as well. It's hard to go to places like Chipotle and get a delicious burrito without that bubbly diet coke. But, I'd rather be sipping sweet tea and not get some weird disease from Aspartame.

Now, if I could just set my mind to thinking that way for all of the other changes I want and need to make.

As far as my breakfast goes, I had a Chocolate-Dipped Chewy Bar of 150 calories and about a cup of fat free milk for 90 calories. That puts me at 240 calories so far, meaning 60 leftovers for later!

No More Diet Sodas!!!

I have always heard bad things about diet soda. It's not that I didn't believe what people said, it's just that I didn't really care too much, and I wasn't about to switch to regular soda, and consume even more calories. But today I was reading an article on ShapeFit about how these artificial sweeteners (A.S) in diet drinks cause a number of side effects:

•  appetite stimulation
• increased carbohydrate cravings
• stimulation of fat storage and weight gan.

On top of these issues with A.S., they also can trigger or worsen the following diseases:

• Brain tumors
• Multiple sclerosis
• Epilepsy
• Chronic fatigue syndrome
• Parkinson's disease
• Alzheimer's disease
• Mental retardation
• Lymphoma
• Birth defects
• Fibromyalgia
• Diabetes

 This is horrible!! I don't want subject myself to these kinds of diseases! I thought diet coke was clearly the better option over coke, but it looks like I was dead wrong!

 

I'm making a commitment right now to stop the artificial sweeteners, including Splenda. I'm just going to use sugar from now on (if I'm drinking Iced Tea) or just drink water! This is crazy. I was also reading about Aspartame, one of the most common A.S's out there, and it's also the most dangerous.

 

 

Updating

I didn't have a chance to blog yesterday since our office was in a training session pretty much the whole day. I had one donut for breakfast yesterday (380 calories). Then I didn't eat anything until like 2:30-3:00 pm which was the same thing I had the day before, the Southern Style Chicken Sandwich and fries. That was like 780 calories plus 30 for Ketchup. Then I ate a piece of Garlic Bread for a snack at like 6:30 pm.

Today I have eaten a Wheeties Protein Bar of 290 calories. Today is James's birthday so I think we're going to Red Lobster. Fortunately, seafood is pretty low-cal so I think I'll be alright if I stick to broiled and grilled instead of fried.

I have a $.99 bag of Doritos for like 310 calories. I know that's not a great snack to eat, but I just had the urge to buy them this morning. Right now I'm drinking water and feeling energized from that protein bar.

Hope I will do well today.

A Few Inspirational Quotes

I decided to look up some inspirational quotes for weight loss and put them out here for anyone who just needs a little boost today or for whenever.

• "Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live."

- Jim Rohn

• "That which is bitter to endure may be sweet to remember."

- Thomas Fuller

• "The chains of habit are generally too small to be felt until they are too strong to be broken."

 - Samuel Johnson

• "The first and the best victory is to conquer self."

          - Plato

• "The good Lord gave you a body that can stand most anything. It's your mind you have to convince."

         - Vincent Lombardi
_______________________________________________________

Who knew that such simple words put together can impact a person so much? It really is incredible. If you read the words carefully and think about them, it can make a big difference. I know it does for me. I like all of these quotes. The first one is so true. I don't have any other body to live in if I mess this one up. I have to take care of it and keep it healthy and moving. I don't want to be stuck in an unshapely and unhealthy body for the rest of my life.

Thomas Fuller's quote is great too. The sweating, suffering, and hard times we encounter on a journey for whatever thing is usually worth all that. Good things in life don't come easy. You can't expect to coast along in your journey and still end up with great success. Life doesn't work that way. You have to put forth an effort and sweat equity.

In the next quote, Johnson is saying that what might start out as 1 or 2 times sneaking down to the fridge for a midnight snack, can easily turn into an addiction. Don't let your occasional bad behaviors turn into habits. They are hard to break. Instead, start a healthy habit. Sneak in some vegetables into your meal every now and then. That could become a habit as well.

In Plato's quote, he is saying that the first thing anyone needs to do, regardless of the situation, is to conquer yourself. It's true. The minds that we have are so powerful and full of different thoughts and ideas. Sometimes our bodies want to do one thing and the brain is making us do something else. When we can figure out how to override the brain's decision, we have conquered ourselves. That's basically what the next quote is saying as well. The mind can be a great thing when used properly. If not, you won't have a chance at success ever. It's all in the mind. Willpower is key.

Back to the Golden Arches

Lunch was kind of rushed today due to our schedule and we had to wait for a patient to be picked up. We decided to do McDonald's for lunch at the last minute. I looked up the nutritional values before we left, and tried to make a little healthier decision than normal. Yet, things never turn out as I plan. That is always the case with me!

This is what I had:

• Southern Style Chicken Sandwich- 400 calories
• Medium French Fries- 380 Calories
• Honey Mustard- 60 calories
• Ketchup- 30 calories
• Sweet Tea (just a couple sips)- ~20 calories

So the grand total for lunch is more than what I was supposed to eat. Duhhh! It's me at McDonald's. Of course I'm going to eat more than I'm supposed to.

Total = 890 calories

I was supposed to only eat 770, and I went over by 120 calories. Therefore I'm deducting the 120 from 150 from my afternoon snack.. leaving me 30 calories for a snack (which I shouldn't want for awhile anyways since I'm feeling like a beached whale right now).

Tonight's dinner will most likely be some kind of chicken and vegetables. I might even do some extra exercise or "extracise".

I hope the rest of the day goes better.

New Scale and Doritos

This morning I weighed in on my new scale: The EatSmart Precision Premium Digital Bathroom Scale. I like it because it's really thin and all I have to do is step on and it turns on and gives me the weight. Well, it read 250.3 lbs. I know.. It's a bit up. But I'm hoping that in a couple of days it will go down again.

My breakfast consisted of a 120 calorie Kashi Bar plus a half of a banana (I think we're saying 50 calories for that). So that's 170 calories used out of 300 breakfast calories. That leaves me.. 130 calories to add for later. 

And... I already know how I'm going to use them. I bought a bag of Spicy Doritos from 7-Eleven.. I think they are like 310 calories. Then, I will deduct calories from Lunch because that puts me over my limit.

If I'm confusing you (which I probably am), let me explain. 130 calories + 150 calories (for morning snack) is 280 calories. The Doritos are 310 calories. So, I'm 30 calories over budget. So, for my lunch I will eat 770 at the most.

Goodness, this is like banking with real money. Too bad it's not.

Evening update

Tonight I took a nice long nap after work and then we ordered Olympians for dinner. I ate about 1/3 of a Chicken Souvlaki pita with about 20 fries or so, 1/2 slice of pepperoni + sausage pizza, and maybe 1 chicken finger (I took a bunch of bites from Charlie's food). Unfortunately I don't know how many calories I ate, but I don't think it was that bad because I was kind of sampling the food not eating all of everything. I'm assuming I used up all the calories I had left and maybe a few extra. I walked around the block with my brother and afterwards I used the treadmill for 30 minutes. I burned about 200 calories between the 2 exercises. I'm all ready for bed now and excited for tomorrow's food adventures! Haha. Good night all!

It Adds Up

I just finished eating a half a pimiento loaf and cheese sandwich for my afternoon snack.

• Pimiento loaf (1 slice)- 90 calories
• Pepperjack Cheese (1 slice)- ~33 calories
• Bread (1 slice)- 50 calories
• Mayo (just a teeny bit)- ~20 calories

Afternoon snack total = 193 calories.

So that wipes out all of the 150 calories that I had for snack minus 43 off of my leftovers. I had 160 leftover.. 160-43 = 117 calories still leftover for later!

Leftover calories and hunger

Those leftover calories that I had are about to get taken away right now. I'm feeling kinda hungry, and I only ate 400 calories for lunch. I've found a pack of Cheese & Peanut Butter Crackers with 190 calories for a little "pick-me-up".

So.. 350-190= 160 calories still leftover for later :o)

Lunch Menu

My lunch went as planned. Let me give you the menu:

• Tuna fish (1/2 can)- 60 calories
• Mayonaise (1 tablespoon)- 90 calories
• Bread (2 slices)- 100 calories
• Utz Potato chips- 150 calories
• Water (lots)- O calories!

Lunch total = 400 calories

Balance = 350 calories (remember I deducted 50 calories from lunch due to extra calories from snack)

So, what should I do with these extra 350 calories? Should I wait and add these to my dinner tonight? I'm not really hungry right now.. There's not much to eat here anyways at work. Or maybe I could add in a dessert after dinner, or a smoothie of some sort? I'm not sure, yet.

Snack Attack

I had my morning snack of Oreo Crisps a few minutes before 10:00 am. I was feeling a little hungry about 10 minutes ago, and so I ate 2 slices of cheese on 2 ritz crackers-- those were like 100 calories (maybe a little less). That's over the 150 calorie snack by like 50 calories, but I had 10 leftover from breakfast, and I can just deduct from my lunch.. That makes sense doesn't it?

Counting minutes & calories

Congratulate me! I got back on the treadmill last night after such a long time of not getting on. It actually wasn't as bad as I thought, and the time flew by pretty fast, especially since I was talking on the phone. I had the speed on 2.5 and I did 15 minutes, burning 87 calories. Tonight I'm going to go for it again!

This morning I looked at the nutrition facts of what I ate. I had a Chocolate Dipped Chewy Bar for 150 calories, a cup of fat-free milk for 90 calories, and I ate half of a banana (online it says it is about 50 calories more or less). That brings my  breakfast total to 290 calories, 10 calories shy of the max value of 300 calories for breakfast. I'm feeling good and motivated and energized right now.

For my snack this morning, I have a bag of 100-calorie Oreo Crisps that I plan on eating.

And for lunch we have Tuna that I plan on eating, but I'm not sure with what else.

I feel like I'm at Weight Watchers again, without the weekly cost. The only difference with W.W is that they convert calories, fat, and fiber into Points values. I'm skipping that step and just counting calories. I should have been doing this weeks ago, especially since I had figured out how many calories my body needs daily. Finally, I see the light.

Adding some structure

So I was looking at a previous post from way back in my weight loss hay day in August. I had posted about how many calories I should be eating daily to lose weight or maintain weight. For me, 2040 calories consumed on a daily basis would result in extreme weight loss for me. Sure, I would love that and all, but I think that's just a little bit low for me.

This is my new idea:

I am dividing my number of calories that I am going to consume (to start, I am going to make it 2200 calories) on a daily basis. If I stick within the range of calories per each meal/snack, I should still lose weight. Plus, I will be doing exercise to burn up more calories.

The plan:

Breakfast- 300 calories (at the most)

Morning Snack- 150 calories  (at the most)

Lunch- 800 calories (at the most)

Afternoon Snack- 150 calories (at the most)

Dinner- 800 calories (at the most)

________________________________________________

Total Max Number of Calories = 2200 calories

I figure that if I can stick with this structured eating schedule and get down to the real nitty gritty calorie science of it all, I should be able to keep myself on track.

Plus, I need to at least burn 200 calories a day which is roughly 2 miles of walking. If I can accomplish this I will be a happy camper!

A New Look

Good morning and afternoon blog world! I have given my blog a small makeover. I thought it was just time for a change, and maybe it will not only refresh my blog look but my outlook on my blog as well.. If that makes any sense. Today has not been a very healthy eating day.. What I need to do is EXERCISE!!! I'm not sure what happened to my attitude toward exercise, but it's like it's disappeared. Something I want to do tonight is to get on the treadmill. That is my goal for today. Even if it's for 10 minutes.. I have to do it. It's been so long since I've done exercise, and even longer since I've used that treadmill. It's like an old friend of mine, who somehow turned against me.. but I really want to be best friends again, and be with it everyday.

I won't even scare you with my food choices that I made today. Let's just say I overloaded on very unhealthy sugary things for breakfast, and I had a second breakfast not even an hour later from a very popular food chain with golden arches. Fortunately, I had Panera for lunch. I feel my uniform getting just a tad uncomfortably snug on my body. I can't let it get tight again.. Ughh I don't want to be miserable! I'm definitely paying a visit to the treadmill tonight.

More later!

A Short Weekend

I can't believe the weekend is over already.. Time sure does go by fast when you're having fun. The weekend was full of eating out: Ledo's Pizza, Abi II, PR Cafe, Chipotle, and Yogen Fruz!! Yogen Fruz was probably the healthiest and best thing I have. My friend Fredy has been telling me about this place for awhile and I didn't seem too interested.. But, when I went to order my first yogen fruz ever, I was instantly mesmerized. You have the choice of Vanilla or Chocolate frozen yogurt (lowfat or not fat). Then, you choose the frozen fruits that you want to have mixed into the yogurt. There were so many fruits to choose from. I chose blackberries, raspberries, and bananas to be mixed in. I watched as they tranformed the white vanilla yogurt into a hot pink, berry and banana flavored delight!! It was heavenly and cost me $5.41. Maybe a little pricy, but it was a big cup and it was definitely worth it!!

I walked around the Pentagon City Mall and then around the block with Charlie as my only forms of exercise this weekend. Today the scale said 248.8 lbs. I really want to get down to like 245 this week. I hope I can make it happen.

Doing Some Stretching

I figured yesterday would be a complete disaster. It was full of sweet temptations and big plates of restaurant food, but I don't think it turned out to be such a complete disaster.

I gave in and ate 2 halves of donuts. (1/2 from one, and 1/2 from another). At Red Lobster I ate 2 biscuits, a salad with Blue Cheese on the side, Grilled chicken breast and shrimp, and a baked potato with butter and sour cream on the side. Then, the waitress brought my coworker a piece of cheesecake smothered in strawberries for her birthday dessert. Oh crap! We all shared the cheesecake and then later at the office we cut the cake that my mom and I got her in the morning. I felt so full of sugar and junk and it was a nasty feeling.

I also had a few spoonfuls of candy corn before I went home.

For dinner, we went to Los Toltecos and I got the Fajitas Texanas. It comes with shrimp, chicken, and beef, and is served with refried beans, rice, cheese, lettuce, guacamole, and sour cream and of course the corn tortillas. It was really good, but I know it was secretly realllly bad.

After dinner I felt as if my stomach was trying to stretch itself. It was just extremely full. Not good at all.

I was too tired to attempt any exercise last night.

Luckily, the scale had not budged in either direction this morning. I don't think I will be that lucky any other time.

I just finished eating 1 donut for my breakfast. I didnt' eat it all though. I ate the chocolate on top and the cream inside, and got rid of most of the actual "donut" part of it.

The rest of today I need to channel my inner skinny. Hmmm...

Long Story Short

Afternoon snack yesterday was 1/2 snickers bar. Dinner was Popeyes (I know, I know). I didn't walk.

Morning weight: 249.4 lbs.

Breakfast was whole wheat bagel with chive cream cheese.

I'm anticipating to eat a bit unhealthy today, as it's a coworker's birthday and we have cake, donuts, and are planning to go to Red Lobster for lunch.

Have mercy on me!!!

I will keep it updated when I can!

Not exactly as I planned..

I told you guys that I my lunch all prepared and chilling in the fridge.. and then what happens? Well, my mom doesn't want to eat in today. We planned on going to McDonald's first, but then I reminded her we still have a bunch of Quizno's coupons.

I had Quizno's yesterday and it was great. I got the same thing: a Baja Chicken sub. They say it's less than 500 calories for the small sub, but I got a regular. I'm guessing that was between 700-800 calories and I had a bag of doritos for like 300-ish calories. So, about 1000 or so calories for lunch.

I'm not upset though. I don't think that was a huge sin or anything, just not the wisest. I have my original lunch for either 1. tonight's dinner or 2. tomorrow's lunch. I think I'd prefer to eat it for tonight, but I'm making no promises though.

For a snack this afternoon I will either eat a yogurt or some other small thing. I don't want to eat a variety of snacks because that sends my brain the wrong message.

I'm still having a positive outlook for today. :)

Morning Snack

I waited until about 10:20 am to eat my morning snack. I ate the Oreo Thin Crisps like I said I would and I'm drinking water too. I don't feel hungry now. I'm actually feeling a positive vibe for today.

A New Start

Ok.. I weighed in like I said this morning. It said 250.6 lbs. I have gained back a few pounds obviously, but it doesn't matter. This is my new starting weight so let's let bygones be bygones.

For my lovely breakfast I ate 1 Kashi fruit bar. It's basically like a Nutrigrain Bar. It was 110 calories and 3 grams of fiber. I drank a little bit of water with it, instead of milk.

I have my lunch here in the fridge at work. I also have a little 100-calorie package of Oreo Crisps or something like that.

I'm feeling more encouraged after reading Heather's blog. I realize that it's not just me that is going through this. Everyone must have these kinds of days or weeks where they feel this sort of funk going on. I think I'm ready to get out of the funk now though. It sure helps when you have people like Heather who are here to encourage and make you want to keep chuggin along on this journey. Thank you, Heather. You are so wondeful!

Late Night Ramblings

I'm sitting here, 11:30 at night, snacking on grapes. I'm wondering.. how did I get to this point? I look back at the start of this lifestyle change, and I think about how motivated and inspired I was. It was so much fun: losing weight, exercising, encouraging others...and now.. what happened? What's different about my thought processes? It's like I'm on the verge of failure. I don't want to be.. but it seems the boost of energy that I had for a short while is starting to fade away. Where can I get it again? Is the energy inside of me, just waiting to be released? Well, I'm not sure. I want to get back where I started off. I need to find the energy again. I'm sick of giving up and giving into temptation. It makes me feel so sick to think about all the progress I've made since the beginning of August. I can't give up. I lost like 14-ish pounds in that short bit of time. It would be stupid for me to give up and let urges and cravings and stress get in my way and gain back what I've lost. I don't want that to stop me. It's not worth it to give up, right? I mean, cravings are just cravings.. they go away eventually.. so why can't I seem to grasp that now? It seems more difficult than it was at first. Eating out of boredom is not acceptable. It doesn't do me any good. Eating a healthy dinner and then Taco Bell 2 hours later is just gross. How do I expect to live a long healthy life, and not get diabetes, if I continue such horrible eating habits? I need a reality check y'all. I'm doing bad. I need a fresh start, a breath of fresh air, a clean slate. I know I'm willing. This is what this blog is about. It's about my weight loss journey; the ups and downs, and turnarounds. I've just got to start all over. That's what I'm going to do. Tomorrow morning I'm going to weigh in my new starting weight. I'm going to eat either a bowl of cereal or a cereal bar. I'm going to eat a morning snack and blog and tell you all what it is and my lunch (which I've already made!) will be rice, chorizo with scrambled eggs, a little mozzarella cheese, some black beans, and a few tortillas. I should probably take a walk as well. I mean, afterall, we have some nice weather out there. It is the perfect time to do some walking. I got no excuse. I want to be healthy, happy, thin, athletic, and oh-so many other things in my life. I'm 20 years old. I'm still young, but time is flying by now. I want to enjoy my youth and be happy. I don't want to suffer anymore because of my weight. I have just got to get back to the way I was a month ago.

Well, that's a random rambling..but quite motivating to myself...I guess that energy is inside of me afterall :)

Let's just see if I follow through with all of this tomorrow..

I did a bad, bad thing



Feeling Guilty???



So I had my turkey sandwich yesterday for lunch with a 99 cent bag of Doritos and a diet coke. Then I snacked on and off through out the afternoon, like on a few chips, a few crackers, some peanut butter, a peach, etc.



I made some chicken with corn, black beans, and tomatoes then some shrimp, guacamole, and leftover rice for dinner. Now, that tasted pretty good. And, it wasn't really unhealthy.

Well, after dinner is when it got a little hairy.



Fredy came to pick me up because I wanted to go to a Latino grocery store and do a little browsing, and I wanted him to be my Latino support. So we went to El Eden and I bought some Spicy Mexican Chorizo that I am going to make with scrambled eggs, but that's beside the point. After that we went to Bestway to compare prices and products, and after that....Taco Bell. That was a killer. I had $6 and I planned on getting something small because Fredy didn't want to eat alone.. But... instead I ended up getting the T6, which is 2 chicken chalupas with sourcream and everything, plus a beef taco.. I felt so gross sitting in there at like 9:30 at night stuffing my face with a whole other meal, after I had just eaten a pretty good meal only 2 hours earlier. Ugh! I'm crazy!

Feeling guilty, Fredy and I did a little walking around my neighborhood, maybe like a little more than a mile. Still, I didn't feel good at all after that.

No weigh-in this morning.

Had fruit loops for breakfast. I'll try to be smarter today. : /



Tuesday Morning

It's Tuesday morning.. the weekend wasn't great as far as my eats were concerned. Fortunately, I'm around the same range of weight still. 248.6 for now. I want to just kill that number and get down to 240 and not have to see this 248 again.. But I'm working on it.

I'm currently eating a blueberry muffin from Panera, which is just fabolous. I plan on eating a turkey sandwich for lunch, and not sure about snack yet.

Yesterday, I had planned on eating that turkey sandwich for lunch, but instead I ended up eating Panera. I doubt that will happen today because I have no $$.

I haven't forgotten about my burrito bowl. I was just really tired last night, because I walked about 3 miles, then drank a smoothie, got a shower, and hit the sack... plus I had no chicken. I have the picture of Saturday burrito bowl.. I've just been lazy and not put it up here. Eventually, I will.

Feeling Down

I have not been up to par with my diet and exercise lately. I don't know why all of a sudden I'm eating a little whacky again. I'm still going by the rules of the times of food for the most part, but the things I've chosen to eat are not that great. I haven't even done some serious exercise since some time last week. I don't feel discouraged.. I just feel like the motivation is not there now. I want to be motivated. I try to be motivated, but it's like the brain is not getting the message. I'm going to try and read some of my previous posts and go to some websites that are motivating and just read them over and over. Maybe that will help me? I'm a little scared, too. What if I keep up these unhealthy behaviors, and gain all my weight back, and get really discouraged, and so on and so on? That will just anger me soooo much. I can't do that. I won't do that. I don't want to have to start all over again, when this has been a huge effort in itself...

Ughhhh.. this is harder than I thought. Today I am trying to think in a better mind set. I have eaten a protein bar for breakfast this morning to get me going for the day. I didn't even weigh when I got up today. What a slacker I am being..

My plan for lunch is the Burrito Bowl thing that I was talking about before. I have the chicken marinating in some Mojo Criollo sauce, I have leftover rice and guacamole that I made last night. I have corn on the cob too, and a can of black beans that I can open.. oh and some fresh tomato salsa and romaine lettuce that I bought. I will make this into a fabolous burrito bowl.. Well, at least, that's the plan. I might even take a pic of it and post it here.

I shouldn't need anything to eat in the afternoon. I will be going out with Charlie so that should distract me from wanting to eat anything. We're going to a party at Chuck-E-Cheese's tonight, so that's when I'll eat. I'm not sure what we will eat, but I am going to try to keep the portions at a reasonable size, whatever it may be.

Oh and I forgot to mention.. the school I'm going to be going to in October (Stratford University) gives free membership to Chinn's Fitness & Aquatics Center for their students. This means I actually get access to a gym, and can do some working out besides walking... kind of exciting! So, I'll probably start going there once a week or so when I get my I.D. card. (It's kind of far, or I'd go more often).

Anyways, I need some luck and motivation so that this day will be a good one. More later!

Update 09/08/10

Afternoon snack: pack of Pepper Jack crackers, ritz crackers with cream cheese
Pre-Dinner: left over kid's bean burrito, rice
Late Dinner: Frozen personal pizza, handi-snacks, 2 oreos.

The reason for the crappy eating is because I had to go to Stratford University to get a tour and pick classes, so I didn't get home until almost 10:00 pm. I didn't need the handi snack or oreos, but once I get started eating at night, it's hard to stop.

I have a new idea that I'm going to start doing hopefully on Monday. I want to start making my own version of a burrito bowl! I'm thinking of grilling some chicken breasts and using rice, black beans, guacamole, fresh salsa, a little cheese, maybe corn, and a lot of lettuce and eating that for lunch. The chicken, beans, and cheese are protein. The guacamole is a healthy source of fat. The tomato salsa is good in Vitamin A, C, and K, Riboflavin, and who knows what else. The rice is a carb.. but I have to eat some carbs. The corn is a vegetable and carb as well. Also, the lettuce is practically a free-food. I'm thinking that if I eat this at lunch time, it will fill me up for the rest of the day, and it seems pretty healthy as well. As long as I don't use too much rice, I think it will be a great lunch.

Lonche

For lunch I had a tuna fish sandwich, an applesauce, like 14 wheat thin sticks, and 3 teaspoon-fulls of candy corn. Then I did a 1.19 mile walk, burning about 110 calories. I'm ready for a nap!!!

Update from yesterday

I had no morning snack yesterday, partly because I had poptarts for breakfast, and partly because I was busy and had no time. We went to Panera for lunch and I had all intentions of getting the Fuji Apple Chicken Salad, but I got weak and ordered the same old You-Pick-2 with the Frontega Chicken Panini and Broccoli Cheddar Soup.. Pure deliciousness. Then I didn't eat anything until 5:30 ish and that was a few Pepper Jack crackers (I think 4). Then Fredy and I were going to dinner at Chevy's, but I ate a few spaghetti noodles and squash before that.

At Chevy's, I ate some chips and salsa, and then I ordered the Grande Chimichanga with Chicken.. I hadn't eaten it in sooo long. It also comes with rice, refried beans, sour cream, guacamole, pico de gallo, a little lettuce, and a tamalito. I ate half the beans, a couple bites of rice, and slowly ate the rest of my food. My slowness was thanks to Charlie (thank you, Charlie) because he didn't want to cooperate with me and sit in his highchair. But I'm ok with that. Then after I ate Charlie decided to run around the restaurant. He must've known that mommy wanted to burn some calories after that deadly meal.

This morning I haven't eaten yet, but I'm getting ready to. I'm going to have a bagel with some light cream cheese and maybe a banana.

Holiday Weekend

The holiday weekend was pretty nice. I didn't have to work Saturday or Monday so I got some R & R. I didn't pay too much attention to my food. But, I ate like 2 meals a day, and like no snacks (aside from icecream on 2 occasions). I went to a few restaurants, cooked a little, ate some leftovers, and so it was a variety of things that I ate. Overall, I don't think I did too bad. I actually weighed myself yesterday morning. I was like 247.6 lbs.

Today I didn't have time to weigh myself, and I was super tired too. I ate a package of s'mores poptarts for breakfast and some whole milk. That wasn't well planned..

Probably looking at Tuna for lunch.. or maybe Panera.. hmm.. I'll let you know though.

I wish I had a dollar for every calorie I consumed at lunch..

I actually ended up at Chipotle for lunch, because my friend Fredy wanted to go there. I debated eating the whole burrito, and ended up devouring it in about 15-20 minutes. I don't feel gross though, like I usually do after eating a huge meal.. Plus, my uniform doesn't feel like it's about to rip open. That's a good sign, I think.

We went to Landmark mall afterwards and walked around. Fredy got a milkshake from Chic-Fil-A, but I was way too full to do that, and I'm glad that I didn't want it. That would've meant I consumed like over 2,000 calories in less than an hour. Not good. I probably had like 1100-1200 calories just from Chipotle. But, I didn't eat a morning snack, and I'll probably be too full to eat an afternoon snack.. so it kind of balances out.. (I hope).

I'm going to try and drink a bunch of water this afternoon to flush my system! I'll let you know how it goes..

Not Bad

I lied about lunch. I got a craving for Panera, and so I went there and got the You-Pick-2, Frontega Chicken Panini and Broccoli Cheddar Soup. This is starting to become "the usual" for me. I was super satisfied and full afterwards, so I didn't eat anything until last night around 9:00 pm. I had beans, rice, avocado, crema, and some cuajada cheese. I got full quick from that too.

I also had a rootbeer, which was 160 calories.

I must not have done too bad, because I weighed 247.4 lbs when I got up today. At least the scale has moved.

I've eaten a 140 calorie bagel with a little bit of cream cheese and diet Cranberry Juice for breakfast.

I'm contemplating Panera again for lunch, but we'll see what the boss (mom) says. Haha

I Gotta Refocus

My afternoon snack yesterday was a blueberry scone from Panera.. It was very satisfying, and 440 calories, as well (ahem..)

Dinner consisted of Domino's Pizza. I had 1 slice of Extra Cheese Pizza (regular crust) and 1 slice of the Brooklyn Style Pepperoni Pizza (somewhere between thin and thick, hence Brooklyn Style) with a few chicken kickers, and a piece of Cinnastix with that darned icing. I think I did ok, because normally I would've eaten anywhere from 4-6 slices of pizza. Yuckkkk! I was actually feeling full on my way to pizza slice #2 and should've just given up there, but I'm working on it. I'm getting there gradually.

I did some weight lifting last night and some crunches, and little quick 2-min aerobics. Not much, I know, but Charlie wouldn't go to sleep so I was using that as my excuse to be lazy.

Then, a little after 11 pm, I actually made a smoothie (1.5 bananas, a small container of applesauce, a small container of apple juice, a peach yogurt, Benefiber, and ice). I think that was the tastiest smoothie I've ever made, even though it didn't have much fruit in it at all. But seriously though, that was one kick-butt smoothie (and I'm sure Benefiber will be kicking my butt later, as well).

This morning the scale read 248.4 lbs. I don't think I'm making much progress. I know my diet hasn't been ideal, lately. I need to think carefully about my food decisions before I eat. At least today I should be eating in at lunch. I might take a walk too, if it's not too hot.

Oh, btw, I forgot to mention: I had a few sodas yesterday... this might be part of my problem..

Oh Thank Heaven!

Lunch was in a hurry because of a staff meeting. I could have stayed in the office and eaten a ham sandwich (yucky).. but I opted to go to 7-Eleven and grab something else. I got the TGI Friday's Chicken Quesadillas, a big bottle of water, and a 99 cent bag of Sweet and Spicy Chili Doritos.. Ok.. not the wisest choice for lunch, but I don't think it was terrible. The 2 Quesadillas total had 520 calories and the Doritos had 310.. So that was like what.. 830 calories? I don't think it was too bad at least. I'm really full too, by the way.

I don't plan on eating a snack for a lonnng while.. although I'm not suppose to eat my snack until 3:00 pm or after, anyways..

Maybe I can just skip the snack if I'm still full (yeah, right!).

Mickey D's Please

Yesterday Charlie was sick and I ate pretty healthily, but couldn't blog. Today, I had to get up extra early because Charles is going to the Zoo!! 

So, I suggested that mom and I stop by McDonald's for breakfast, and we did. I got the sausage, egg, and cheese biscuit, a hashbrown, and a diet coke. Hey, a girl's gotta live once in awhile, right? Haha. 

I am full right now, and usually, McDonald's breakfast keeps me full for awhile. I plan on having a healthier lunch than breakfast. 

Oh and I forgot to mention that last night I did a 6-mile walk (sorry mom for being late!) burning about 600 calories. 

I'll let you know how the rest of the day goes!