It's been a lifelong struggle, but this time I'm making a lifestyle change. No point in giving up, because I will always end up in the same dilemma. I want to be happy with myself, not disgusted with what I eat and that I don't do exercise. That's all changing now, and I plan on keeping that change permanent. No one said it was going to be easy to do this, nor did they say it would be a flawless journey, but I'm prepared to make the effort and learn from my mistakes as I go along!
Last night when my parents got home they had brought me a cupcake, but I didn't want that. I decided to make some popcorn instead. I was eating the popcorn and then my mom opened a bag of Cheese Curls. I couldn't resist. I ate maybe 10 of those. Then, she rocked out the Cheese Balls, and I went to town. Finally, I went and got my cupcake. It was heavenly. Then, it hit me. I felt horrible, disgusting, fat... I knew I would pay for what I did, and I did. When I weighed this morning I gained. 254.8 lbs. :(
I'm so mad at myself. I'm not screwing up like that again.