It's been a lifelong struggle, but this time I'm making a lifestyle change. No point in giving up, because I will always end up in the same dilemma. I want to be happy with myself, not disgusted with what I eat and that I don't do exercise. That's all changing now, and I plan on keeping that change permanent. No one said it was going to be easy to do this, nor did they say it would be a flawless journey, but I'm prepared to make the effort and learn from my mistakes as I go along!
I know I keep blogging tonight. There must be something wrong with me (or maybe I'm just bored?). Got some really really sad and painful news to reveal.......I weighed myself about 2 minutes ago. The numbers on the scale didn't look too pretty, I must admit. I'm ashamed, embarassed, and kind of disgusted. 261.2 lbs it says. I can't believe this! (Well I can, but actually admitting to it, I can't). That is just gross. I'm 5'11 and 20 years old and YES I WEIGH 261.2 LBS! How disgusting is that?! If seeing how high that number on the scale is doesn't make me change my lifestyle and eating habits, then WHAT will? "Skinny" thinking has got to stay with me. Here's the deal. Tomorrow I will commit to a day of thinking "skinny" and we'll see what will happen. I'm going to wake up in the morning with some positive thoughts and eat my healthy oatmeal and drink some milk, go off to work with my pitcher of iced Green Tea and snack on healthy foods. In the evening I WILL exercise with Alisha. I will put forth an effort. I'm going to start "weighing in". I will weigh myself every morning and keep you posted on where I stand (or weigh). I have got so many ideas in my head right now. I should probably sleep on them and sort them out.
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